‘The Predator’ – Fan Review

Thanks to 20th Century Fox we got to see The Predator before its Australian cinematic release. This is our my review of the movie (this time is a very personal opinion), but as usual, no matter what we I say, we I still recommend you to go and see it at your local cinema because there is no better critic than yourself!

After being disappointed by Robert Rodriguez’ “Predators” and the two Alien v Predator films, any fans’ hopes of reinvigorating the franchise were low. However, when Shane Black was confirmed as the director of this new Predator film the expectations grew, mostly because Black was part of the cast of the original (and still the best) Predator film. You’d think he would pay tribute to the beautiful designs of the creature by Stan Winston and to the huge fan base…We were wrong.

The first red flag went up during the first trailer, whose big selling point was stating the film was “from the director of Iron man 3”…Really? From the guy who turned one of the most iconic Marvel villains, The Mandarin, into an old horny, silly, powerless joke! That’s your way to try to sell me the film?… OK. maybe there is still hope… Wrong again! There’s a little kid in it.

Am I the only moviegoer who believes that almost every time you introduce a little kid or girl into a franchise everything goes to hell? Probably the only exception I can think of is “Aliens”. You know the kid either will be annoying, fail at comedy, will probably need to be rescued and all in all will steal precious screen time. Want an iconic example? How about “The Lost World”, with Dr. Malcolm’s daughter using her gymnastics to kick a velociraptor.

So, what is the end result? A good opening 30 minutes with jungle, and the classic predator slaughtering people followed by almost an hour and a half of unnecessary human comedy, a wasting of talent, horrendous CGI, and a full rescue operation to (wait for it) save the kid. The kid who, by the way, is on the autistic spectrum and is capable of using some of the predator’s alien technology (Like 1998’s ‘Mercury Rising’ but with a predator chasing the kid instead of federal agents). He even uses the helmet to go trick or treating – yes you read that correctly – although the only time I laughed was during that sequence.

But what about the super huge badass new Predator? Well, if you don’t mind poor CGI, you might actually enjoy this new player. The problem, however, is not the CGI, the problem is that he doesn’t feel like an evolved predator, he doesn’t have cool weapons and he’s more like a bodybuilder predator on steroids ensuring you don’t give a damn about him. This is aggravated by all the silly comedy (including Tourette syndrome gags courtesy of the character played by Thomas Jane) that occasionally makes you forget that there is a massive Predator around. Furthermore, the ultimate Predator has a couple of dog-like pets (shall we call them ‘predadogs’?) and one of them becomes another comedic character halfway through the film…Please kill me now!

I really wanted to like this film, but I feel offended by it. It made me angry because the first scenes were great, the old school Predator theme playing gave me chills and I truly believed for a second this was the film I was waiting for for so many years. Gosh, was I wrong. At least AVP gave me a decent Alien versus Predator fight scene that I could watch over and over again to forget about the rest of that film, Requiem gave me gore, fan service and a silly Predalien killing teenagers and bums in the sewers and Predators gave me, Predators hunting humans like Danny Trejo…and yes Predator 2 with Danny Glover facing the Predator in the city was great fun and despite all its flaws it’s impossible to forget that trophy Alien Skull at the end or the fight inside the space-ship.

Overall, the new chapter in the Predator franchise is neither a sequel nor a reboot, it’s a monumental mess that wastes a unique opportunity of putting the iconic extraterrestrial hunter back in the spotlight for good, destroying the film with a bunch of nonsense and bad CGI. As one of my writer friends (who actually will write a less hateful review for the film as well) said: this film is pure Funko Pop…sad but true.

The Predator – In Cinemas 13 September 2018